Drunk Dial
by EX3451
Summary: One-shot. When Cyborg pulled a prank on Beast Boy's birthday, he never expected it to backfire so badly.


This will be my fifth story, and I have been **so **looking forward to writing it.

Also, my first one-shot. Whoo!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. Do not attempt any of the stunts you read here at home. Actually, try 'em all and send me some videos. I promise that I'll only put the REALLY good ones on YouTube.**

**XxX**

The door swished open ominously in the otherwise silent tower. Pale blue light shone down the hallways as Cyborg slowly made his way towards the kitchen, being as quiet as he could. Which was difficult when he kept jumping at every creak, every gust of wind from the outside. Clutching a rather large box under his arm, he silently giggled to himself.

"This is gonna be sooooo great." He whispered, almost forgetting to clamp his unused hand over his mouth to stop his laughter. Reaching the kitchen, he set his electronic eye to scan for heat signatures. Satisfied that the room was empty, he pressed the button and opened the door, making his way over to the fridge as quickly as he could.

"They got the decorations up, that's good." Cyborg said to himself, inspecting the room. The balloons were resting on the ceiling, pumped up to perfection. Streamers were wrapped around everything, paper littering the floor in various places. The massive 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAST BOY!' banner had been hung up, ready for the mornings festivities. Nodding to himself, Cyborg went back to work, kneeling down in front of the fridge. Opening it, he saw the massive cake, made with no eggs or milk, with what appeared to be tofu icing. "At least BB ain't gonna go hungry tomorrow." Cyborg muttered as his face twisted in disgust at the cake. Shaking his head to break his concentration on the cake and various confectioneries spread out on top of it, he kept looking.

His gaze shifting down, searching through the fridge. "OK." He muttered to himself. "We got pie, an apple, a...bowling ball? Some socks... is that an explosive?"

Pushing the strange ticking device away, Cyborg finally saw what he had been looking for. Chuckling maniacally, he reached into the box that he had brought along with him. Grabbing a can, he opened the top and started pouring the beige coloured beverage into the bowl in front of him. He continued with another can, and another, until he had only one left. Putting the bowl back into the fridge gently, Cyborg picked up the remaining can, threw the empty box into the bin and walked quietly out of the door towards his room, giggling the entire way.

"This is gonna be sooooo great."

**XxX**

Cyborg awoke later that day, a couple of hours late due to his late night/early morning escapades. Stretching his mechanical body, he yawned and looked at the clock. His eyes shot wide open.

"Aw crud, I'm late for the party!"

Shooting off his bed with speeds that Kid Flash would have been proud of, Cyborg sprinted through the corridors towards the ops center.

"Why do we have so many corridors!? Running is hard!" He complained. Rounding the last corner, he skidded to a stop in front of the door. Pushing the button and panicking slightly, it opened out to a scene of pure chaos.

The room was in ruins. Holes in the floor, burn marks all over the walls. The decorations had all been incinerated, and the balloons were strewn around the room, all of them popped.

Robin lay on his back in the middle of the room, swinging his legs in the air and cackling madly. He stopped slightly when he saw a concerned Cyborg approaching him.

"CY! OLD BUDDY OLD FRIEND OLD PAL!" He screamed, jumping to his feet and running towards Cyborg with his arms outstretched. Tripping over his own feet, he was sent skidding across the room on his face, stopping right at Cyborg's feet.

"Rob! Are you-" Cyborg started to say as he leant down, only to be sent flying by Robin's flailing fist. He was still face down on the ground, giggling wildly.

"I'm...sorry...Cyborg but...the punch...was so...good!"

Cyborg's eyes widened. He had forgot he had spiked the punch! "Alright, Rob... Rob... Robin listen to me!" He shouted. Robin stopped giggling, his face serious. Cyborg breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now look man, it's your duty as team leader to-" He was cut off by Robin again, who started laughing uncontrollably.

Resisting the urge to drain the alcohol out of Robin by force, Cyborg knelt down beside him. "What's so funny?" He asked, a little too calmly.

"You...said...DUTY!" Robin gasped out, collapsing into another fit of giggles. With a huff of annoyance, Cyborg got to his feet again, scanning the room. He laid eyes on Raven next, who was sitting all alone on the couch, curled into a ball.

"Raven!" He called out to her, hurrying up to the couch. She was staring, wide eyed at nothing in particular. Cyborg sat down beside her, looking at her cautiously. "What's wrong, Rae?"

Raven kept staring, before her neck slowly turned, almost creaking as she faced Cyborg.

"Daddy doesn't love me, he just wants to use me. Why doesn't he love me? Aren't I evil enough? Maybe I should kill someone and then he'll love me like he should." She whispered, her eyes growing wider and wider.

"Yeah no." Cyborg said as he hastily got up, backing away from the couch with his hands raised. Before he could turn around, he bumped into someone from behind. Whipping around, he came face to face with Starfire.

"Maybe you should do the watching of where you are walking, buddy."

Cyborg nervously backed away. He had never seen Starfire this angry, her eyes glowing as her hands were encased in energy. "Star, calm down." He said gently, still slowly walking backwards.

Starfire looked livid. "Do you wish to do the fighting about it!?" She demanded. Cyborg was about to answer, but a snore from the kitchen interrupted him. Beast Boy was there, fast asleep on the counter, drooling slightly on the steel. Starfire immediately flew over, hoisting him up by the front of his shirt.

"What did you say about my _K'norfka_?!" She screamed in the still sleeping shape-shifter's face. Beast Boy sighed slightly, before drooping over and letting out another snore.

Starfire grinned victoriously. "I believe that on this world that has now made you my bitch." She said coolly, before dropping the changeling on the ground and shooting a starbolt at the wall. The wall exploded, and Starfire flew through the smoke into the hallway on the other side.

Cyborg stood perfectly still, staring at the wall with his jaw slack. A sudden snort from beside him snapped him out of his trance as Beast Boy stretched, opening his eyes.

"Aaaahhhhhh...oh hey Cy." He greeted happily, before rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "I hoped you'd get down here sooner, you missed an awesome party."

Cyborg narrowed his eyes at the reminder. "How come nobody came to wake me up then?" He asked, suspicion evident in his tone. Despite everything that had happened, he had been wondering ever since he woke up. Beast Boy just smiled happily up at him.

"We tried, dude. But you didn't wake up. Hey, pass the phone. I need to make a call."

Cyborg raised an eyebrow, plucking the phone from its cradle and placing it in the green changeling's hands. "Can't you use your communicator?"

"They don't have one. Not anymore, at least."

Beast Boy dialed the number, calmly placing the phone against his ear. The phone rung twice, before someone with a thick French accent answered.

"'Ello?"

"Hey...Mallah...Mallah..."

"Who eez zis?"

"Come on, I'll give ya a hint. It's my B'Day. Geddit? My B'Day?"

"You are annoying, not to mention wasting my time. Goodbye."

"WAIT!"

"What eez eet now?"

"Monkey and the brain...monkey and the brain..."

"Excuse me?"

"One is a primate, the other's insane."

"I will call ze police."

"To prove their evil worth, they'll overthrow the Earth!"

"Stop zis singing now!"

"They're Mallah, they're Mallah and the Brain Brain Brain Brain!" Beast Boy screamed into the phone, only to hear a dial tone. Shrugging slightly, he handed the phone back to Cyborg, who took it after about a minute of staring at Beast Boy's happy expression.

"BB? You feeling OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine dude. That punch was awesome!" Beast Boy replied, pumping his fist into the air and falling over backwards.

Cyobrg groaned. His little prank was spiraling out of control. He looked at Beast Boy again, who was happily rolling around on the ground. Suddenly, an explosion shook the tower, as green light erupted from outside.

"Uh oh."

"Dude," Beast Boy said sleepily, "you should do something before someone gets hurt."

Cyborg raised an eyebrow at the suggestion and opened his mouth to speak, only for a small, incredibly girly squeal to come out instead as the tower shook again. Shaking his head and grumbling under his breath, Cyborg took off at a sprint, jumping through the hole that Starfire had made and down the hall towards the commotion.

As he was leaving, he didn't see Raven get off the couch and stretch, nor did he see Robin and Beast Boy climb to their feet and brush themselves off. A couple of seconds later, Starfire flew into the room, landing in between the three of them. Almost immediately, three of them started to laugh uncontrollably whilst the other had a wide, victorious smirk.

"Aw man." Beast Boy said, straightening up from his laughter. "Did you see his face?"

"Yeah," chortled Robin. "That was awesome!"

"It shall do the teaching of him to not try to pull another prank on us at such occasions." Starfire said through her giggles.

The Titans laughed (or came close enough) for several minutes before they all finally calmed down. Robin looked around at the mess they had created, a frown forming on his face.

"Raven, could you...?"

With a roll of her eyes and a wave of her hand, dark magic shot forward. Hanging up streamers, piecing together balloons and refilling them. As Starfire was hanging up the banner again, Raven took the chance to talk to her.

"Hey, Starfire? Where did you learn that new word?"

"Oh." Said Starfire, a little red in the face. "I have learnt it from late night earth television shows. I am not quite aware what it meant, but it was what some characters said."

Raven nodded, secretly relieved. At the same time, Cyborg walked back into the room. Surveying the Titans and his surroundings, his face suddenly split into a massive grin.

"So you guys found me out?"

The other Titans nodded, and Cyborg clicked his fingers, muttering "Damn!" under his breath. Beast Boy shook his head slightly at the display, before patting the seat next to him.

"Come on dude, we're about to cut the cake and guess what? You can have the biggest piece!"

Robin laughed at the look on Cyborg's face, whilst Raven muttered something about cruel elves. Beast Boy shot her a look before turning back to Cyborg.

"You gonna sit down, Cy?"

Cyborg looked down at the seat offered to him, before his grin widened slightly and he nodded. He would come up with a better prank, one that they would never see coming. One that would work and not backfire against him horribly this time.

He had another year, after all.

**XxX**

My first one-shot that actually stayed a one-shot. Impressive for me.

Leave a review! They're comfy and easy to wear! Wait, wrong series...

Peace!

_**X**_


End file.
